Two minutes to set up. Santa does the rest.

1. 01

   Tell the elves

   Your child's first name and age, whether it's a nice-list call or a word from Santa, and a line or two about what they've actually been up to. "Helped her brother with his reading every night." "Hasn't tidied his room all week." The more specific, the more it lands.

2. 02

   Prove the phone is yours

   We text a six-digit code to your mobile. That number becomes your account and it's the only number Santa will ever ring. No passwords, and nobody can point Santa at a stranger.

3. 03

   Ring now, or pick a window

   Santa can dial within a minute, or you choose a 15-minute window any day up to Christmas. Windows fill up, especially Christmas Eve, so the popular times show as full once they are.

4. 04

   Santa rings

   Answer it yourself and hand the phone over when they're ready, or let them pick up. Santa asks for them by name, uses what you told the elves, hears their wish, and asks if there's anything they'd like to ask him before he goes.

5. 05

   Keep it

   Paid calls come with the recording of your child talking to Santa, on your account page a few minutes after the call. Free calls aren't recorded.

What Santa is, and isn't

Santa is a voice we built and trained to be him: warm, twinkly, endlessly patient, and impossible to knock out of character. He listens and answers, so your child can ask about the reindeer, the chimney, or whether the elves have finished the wrapping. He isn't a person and he isn't a recording. If a child asks whether he's real, he chuckles and gets on with the list.

He never promises a present. He writes wishes in the big book and says the elves will see what they can do, because what arrives on Christmas morning should be a surprise. He never asks where you live, and he never says anything to a child that a kind grandparent wouldn't.